Nothing About Us Without Us (Issue #8)
If you want to be an ally, use the KISS method: Keep It Simple, Stupid đ
After the whole Christmas debacle itâs a surprise that Iâve been able to keep a pretty good relationship with Cindy Loud Who over the years. The other day, Cindy invited the me to the Whoville Against Racism Association (WARA) meeting. Not a lot of people know this, but Whoville has had a tough time addressing the ongoing discrimination and mistreatment of Black and Brown folks in this town. Strange that Mr. Seuss (medical licenses under review) failed to mention this in his book about us.
Anyway, Cindy asked if I could attend the next meeting. They were working on some proposals to pitch to the mayor, Augustus Maywho, at the next town hall. When I arrived, I couldnât help but notice the room was filled with Cindyâs posse of progressive well-intentioned friends ready to get to work, but there was a problem: not a person of color in sight, except me.
Thatâs when it hit me: Iâm Cindyâs token green friend! Thatâs fine, whatever. But what I couldnât get past was that this group of white Whovians were developing a solution to address racial equity without any input from their Black, Brown, and Green counterparts. And that right there is the epitome of white saviorism. You donât know enough of your Black and Brown citizens to invite them to this WARA meeting, but you want to develop a proposal that will impact their lived experience?
The arrogance! Beyond the likelihood that whatever comes out of this meeting will do more harm than good, I was frustrated that this room of white people had skipped the most obvious step.
Take Stu Lou Who. The guy proposed a âprofessional development programâ for minorities, but has never referred or sponsored a minority candidate at his place of work. Betty Lou Who wanted to pledge money to organizations sheâs never volunteered with. Martha May Who wanted to do a âlistening session,â but has never met her black neighbors of ten years (they literally live next door).
I couldnât believe the surface-level ally bullshit going on right in front of me. If you want to advocate for a community you donât belong to, remember to use the three-step KISS methodology: Keep It Simple, Stupid. Equity work shouldnât be an exotic activity only undertaken with special committees. It should flow naturally out of your values and how you live your life.
But to get to that point, you canât skip steps. You canât assume you already know what it is to be an ally. Start with some basics:
Allyship is not a self-designation
You can aspire to be an ally for communities you care about, but members of the affected community are responsible for giving you that title. You may not be as qualified as you think. And even if you are, and you are in fact doing great equity work, you still might not get noticed. You might never get your laminated ally card. You might have to bake your own cookies. Be OK with thatâbecause thatâs not why you should be in this fight.
Start with inner work, progress to outer work
Outer work consists of activities you do to create value outside yourself. Inner work is exploring the inner experiences of yourself and others. When faced with the brutality of oppression, people can over-sample on their own sense of guilt. Try to take in the full expanse of systematic oppressionâand how it benefits you personallyâand it can quickly become overwhelming. An essential part of inner work is sitting with that feeling anyway because thatâs what empathy and solidarity require. Get to the other side of that feeling and youâll also realize that your feelings do nothing to dismantle systems of oppressionâonly action does that. But action without genuine solidarity is going to be as ineffective and performative as that WARA meeting. Thus are inner and outer work both necessary.
Nothing About Us Without Us
This weekâs title (and the most important step) comes from a rallying cry among disabled activists. Itâs a pretty simple demand: Donât make decisions designed to help us without making us part of the process. Seems like a no-brainer, right? If you were, for example, trying to make a facility accessible to people in wheelchairs, it would be pretty damn dumb not to, you know, talk to a person in a wheelchair.
Design for liberation
Whether tackling inequitable pay structures or your user experience, design thinking tells us to use empathy as our north star to problem-solve and innovate. However, when you design without the user, your designs donât solve the problem.
Thatâs why representation matters, and not just in the corny slogan kind of way. At the organizational level, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others canât simply be called upon when needed, like an Uber. Empathyâno matter how exquisitely honed with book club discussions of White Fragilityâainât enough. We, the members of the community, must be in the room with you. You have to offer us a seat at the table. My homie Alvin Schexnider and I had a conversation about this not too long ago. Alvin, an equity design maestro, put it like this:
The critique of just starting with empathy is, no matter how much empathy you have, youâre ultimately going to have gaps if you donât have some of the folks youâre trying to design a solution for actually in the room with you. How are we bringing them into the creation of that project and not just bringing them in at the end where we have a prototype and itâs like, âOkay. I think weâve solved your problem. Here you goâ? And theyâre like, âWell, this actually wasnât even close to what our day-to-day challenges are.â It cuts the time down when you bring people in. Itâs harder because you have more diverse voices, but the outcomes are going to be much better.
Remember that the trust of your marginalized and oppressed colleagues isnât earned overnight. Itâs the result of a sustained, consistent effort of prioritizing their representation and voice. Ibram X. Kendi teaches us that âanti-racistâ isnât something you are itâs something you doâor donât do. Itâs that outer work, backed by the inner work. And if youâre not making mistakes, it means youâre not doing anything at allâwhich would be a much worse mistake. But if youâre not prepared to be corrected, youâre not prepared to do this work at all.
Embrace all the stupid shit you are (inevitably) going to do as an opportunity to learn and get better. Like, me and the whole Christmas thing. I hated to admit it, but those corny-ass Whovians turned out to be ⊠ok, fine, they were pretty goddamn nice. But damn do they have a lot of work to do.
Talk back to the Grinch
Your Grinch doesnât just sit around making dope-ass playlists and complaining about stuff. We are also making big plans to be more creative, share more stories, and grow this platform. There are lots of stories that readers send in, saying, âHey Grinch check this out, can you believe this?â My response is usually, âSadly, yes, I usually can believe it. Itâs messed up and Iâm sorry it happened to you.â However, that doesnât change the fact that we love hearing from you. So please, if you have feedback or stories, share them with us here!